The Erased Mother

Another year stolen.  5 Birthdays 5 Easters  5 Christmas  5 first days of school  5 last days of school  I could go on. But I won't.  So much time has been stolen from us and while it's sad and I am heart broken I can't help but be happy to see the amazing kids you are. I'm so proud of the both of you it isn't even funny! One day soon we will be together, this is all about to be over. This 5 year nightmare you were thrown into will soon be done and we will be allowed to live and have a relationship as God intended!  I'm so excited, I can't wait!!!  I pray  that you guys have an amazing new year! I hope that 2016 brings you so much joy you can't stand it, I pray that you do good in school and anything else you set out to do! I pray that you stay safe, healthy and happy my loves.  I close you guys,  Your mom

Since I know you both frequent my blog quite often I will leave this here.  I forgive you for the wrong you do. I will also ask God to go easy on you both for what you both have done, I will let him know that I have forgiven you both because to refuse to forgive is to hold hate and I don't. I know the truth as does the two other people that were there all along, that's all that matters to me in the end.  I hope that you make sure my babies enjoy the new year, my heart is aching on this day but there is no reason anyone else should feel down. I hope the two of you are over the moon and still as happy as day one because that means my children will be too.  I know that you wouldn't dare tell Ethan and Kaitlyn how I love them. but I can always ask, so please if you find it in your heart somewhere let them know I said I love and miss them. I hope they have their memories of me just like I do them, I pray that one day you and Ashley can put aside your hate and childish games alon

Merry Christmas my babies!  Now that things have calmed down and I am home where I can post this... Lol I hope everything was what you hoped it would be, I'm sorry for yet another year stolen... I tried to set up a visitation but like always I got no response. I can't wait u till the day I will be able to celebrate with you like others have stolen from me, oh what a awesome day it will be!  We spent Christmas at my moms house in Tennessee, everyone had a good time and so much fun was had. We are now home and just enjoying the days until school starts back up!  Speaking of school, I hope that you guys are doing AWESOME... Half of the year is gone and it won't be long until it's summer time again! Woohoo, hot days and cool pools!  Anyways, I love you guys so so very much! I miss you and I can't not wait to see you again! 

I forgot to post his a few days ago... Your little brother and sister wanted me to "show" you our tree. Of course you won't see this until later on in life but this is it!  It's pretty basic but we won't be home this Christmas. I let Maddox and Mady pick everything that went on the tree and the tree, they did good.  I love you guys and I hope you had or do have fun picking out your tree and decorating it!

Since you are taking the time to "stalk" my blog that I am writing to my children so that they can hear in my words how much I love them and want very much to be a part of their lives... Maybe you could use that time to implement a positive CO PARENTING plan.  Yesterday was our child's birthday, that's pretty sad that instead of making sure he was able to know that BOTH of his parents love him you spent the day stalking me. You took the time to stalk me but not extend the chance to visit with my children.  This is my blog to our kids. You will not silence me or scare me into not leaving them something. Go AWAY. 

You are now a teenager!!!  I hope that your birthday brought you everything you hoped and wished for. I saw that you played a Magic tournament today, I hope you did good and had fun sweet boy!  Half of your childhood was stolen from us. One day it won't be like this, I promise you that... They can only have control for so long before it will all crumble.  Happy Birthday Ethan Scott Jolly, I love you and miss you so much baby!  Love, Your ONLY mama. 💗 ----------- I am not sure why this didn't post earlier!? It showed as pending so hopefully it will post now! 

I have always been stead fast about not allowing people to destroy things from when I was married to your dad. I have boxes and boxes of things for you guys that I have saved. They are forever the past and I would never destroy that for y'all.  Anyways, I'm sure you don't see too many pics of your mom and dad together so here is a few.... I found them while emptying out my old email to ready it for deletion.  I don't want to save these but I want you guys to have them...  This was in March of 2008. I'm not sure where we were or what we were doing.  This was Christmas eve 2006.  It's not a very good pic but cell phones weren't the best back then either! Lol  I laugh at the irony of your dads shirt now.  Ethan and Katy, here are some photos of you guys from the same year!  Love you guys so much... I will keep digging for old photos, I know I have a ton somewhere around this house!  Love, mom. 

I hear you won a Magic tournament?  I got this picture!  That's cool stuff! I wish me and your brother Maddox could have been there because he really likes that kind of stuff too! I think you guys would really really get along! He misses you a lot some days and can't wait to have you in his life again!  But anyways, I'm glad you have found something you enjoy doing! I love you so much buddy! 💗

Saw that the girl who thinks she's a step mother liked this post today.  No bitch. Sorry. You're not.  I'm not absent, I would give my life to be in my children's life.  You will never be a better parent than me, NEVER.  I would never do a child I claim to love the way you have mine. So sit down cunt, you need a reality check. 

You are ten.ß Another year stolen another year missed. I never wanted this life for you, what PARENT parent does?  I hope one day we can all heal from this and move on. You probably have absolutely no idea how much I love and miss you.  Happy birthday my sweet precious baby. I love you will all that I am. 

Now my kids never wanted to see me and acted bad afterwards. This bitch will say anything to make herself shine. Why not instead of spreading hate she grow up and encourage love? I feel sorry for the two children she squeezed out of her nasty hole.  Sorry. But these are no the faces of children that didn't want to see me.  At this visit my kids clung to me when we first saw each other. They asked why I couldn't come home and didn't seem to understand where I had been. I'm guessing they were told I ran off to be with someone else when in all reality they had been held prisoner for a year.  This was my sons birthday. On this day my son begged to go home with his "dad" and was told no because the new wife's child had school in the morning and they (the new family they made without these two) had to get ready for the days ahead. He asked and asked and was told no over and over again. My daughter begged me to take her with me, she was u

What about the time my ex mother in law set me up and made no comments to the whore that states shed drop kicked the mother of her grandchildren? Classy! 

Remember that time you stole my photos and used them?

http://youtu.be/94kZ4aRFJ6s I'm not sure how to make that show up but that is a video I made for Ethan and Katy.  If you guys ever see this know that I love you, I am so sorry these years have been stolen and I have never forgotten you. I think about you each day, I pray for you and I love you. No distance between us will ever take away the fact that I am your mama and I miss you so. 

I found this today in an old album! It was on the first day of school for you guys back in 2012!  Oh also, yesterday I was sent some photos of you guys.... I always love getting them and seeing how much you're growing! It looks like you had so much fun at the ball game and the Varsity! I can't wait until wa can all do things together and just be a family again!  I love you guys with all of my heart! 

Nothing about this is familiar to her. I don't get welfare and I've never ever emailed or messaged my ex with any of my issues... Mainly because I don't have them but still.

People are always asking me how I came up with your names and I figured I would write it down so you guys would know too... Ethan Scott Jolly Ethan was picked by your dad because of a movie he liked that had Ethan Hawke. Your granddaddy used to joke around and call you Ethan Allen as in the furniture place!  Scott is your dads middle name and you might like to know it is also your nephews middle name. When Jacob had his baby he decided to honor you Ethan by giving Jayden your middle name also! Kaitlyn Dian Jolly Kaitlyn was supposed to be Katelyn. I had my heart absolutely set on that spelling but your dad and I had a disagreement on spelling so we wrote both down on a piece of paper and let Ethan choose, he pointed to Kaitlyn. Kait is after my adoptive mother Kathy and Lyn is after my birth mother Debbie Lynn, I really wanted to honor both of them in naming you. Dian is your aunt Shannon's middle name as well as your granmommies middle name, I thought it would be neat to pass it a

Sometimes (well all of the time) I wish things weren't like this. I am so afraid I am going to die before they stop the games and we are reunited. For the most part I've been doing better but I still have some pretty bad liver and kidney issues. Every time I am in the hospital I get terrified of dying and never seeing you guys again.  It's so sad that things have to be this way, no mother should have to live with that fear. I worry everyday also that something is going to happen to one of the two of you, I just don't know what I'd do if that did happen.  God teaches you to always forgive people no matter what they have done to you and I have. I may hold anger but that's only because I miss you guys. I completely forgive everyone that takes part in holding you guys from me... That's the only true way to move on. Everyday I pray for your Dad to find peace within himself so that he can be a better parent to you guys and do what it's right. I always tell oth

This is nothing like me. I want nothing more than to be there. I love how a little girl that does not even KNOW me thinks she can speak the truth about me.

Ethan and Kaitlyn started a new school year this year. Another stolen moment in time we will never get back.  I wish you good luck my babies, I hope this year brings you everything you could imagine and hope for and then some.  I hope you do good and get good grades and most of all I hoe you thrive! The time is getting closer my babies and soon we will be back together.  I love you guys,  Your mama. 

E & K started a new school year this year.  Another stolen moment in time we will never get back.  I wish you good luck my babies, I hope this year brings you everything you could imagine and hope for and then some.  I hope you do good and get good grades and most of all I hoe you thrive! The time is getting closer my babies and soon we will be back together.  I love you guys,  Your mama. 

I haven't updated this blog because I was writing elsewhere. I requested visitation with my children yesterday through my ex (even though he does not have physical custody of the children) and was once again denied. Same reasons. No judge ordered anything and no court proceedings telling me I can't. Just a self righteous asshole thinking he makes the rules.  Here are the emails. :-)  He was then blocked from emailing me further. I do not have to put up with a POS deadbeat telling me what I have or have not done when it's nothing but lies.  We can work it out in court, or I and his parents can... He does NOTHING for them. SMH

Haven't posted in a while and it's not because I was chased off its simply because life has been so hectic, not hectic as in bad just not enough time to collect my thoughts and sit down and write them.  Big changes coming this year. I've sat on things long enough and given people ample time to dig their own graves... I thinks it's about time for the truth to shine and people to be exposed what what they truly are.  I will see my children this year, unsupervised and not on anyone's terms but those a judge sets forth.  I've proven myself to be a good nurturing parents, can't say the same for others.